Posted: July 19, 2010 by Adam Day in Other
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Friendship. What is friendship? Today I asked myself this question. According to the dictionary there are several definitions of a friend. Here are just a few:
1. A friend is a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
2. A person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
3. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

Everyone needs a friend. A close friend you can talk to about the problems you are facing. Someone who will be there for you when you feel you have hit rock bottom. If you don’t have someone you can call a friend, that is there for you in times like these, I’m sorry. I don’t know the correct method for “picking” a friend, but you should definitely do what it takes to have one. Isocrates said, “Be gracious to all men, but choose the best to be your friends.”

I have been lucky in my life and have always had good friends. I guess the word should be blessed. Good friends are a blessing, lose one and you will understand this more than you want. I have lost several friends in my life, some to death and some to disagreements and disputes. Understandingly, there was nothing in my control that I could have done differently to stop my friends from losing their lives, but the ones lost from arguments and fights could have been easily fixed.

I have had several friends that lost their lives. Some in car accidents and some that lost their battles to a disease like cancer. One friend was killed while on-duty as a Police Officer. Some friends died from old age, I guess it was just their time as some would say. There are some regrets that I didn’t spend as much time as I could with some of these friends, that I didn’t tell them how much they meant to me, or tell them I loved them as much as I wish I would have. My great-grandfather was someone who I truly looked up to and admired, but up until a couple years before he passed away I never told him how much he meant to me. I’m glad I at least had those years that we were able to talk and share stories like I had wanted for so long. It was not necessarily his fault, I could have made the effort long before then. I guess knowing the end is near will do something to people, open them up and help them to express feelings. Like I said, I’m glad that I had this time to spend with him and tell him how I felt.

Some of my other friends who were killed in accidents and other means ended differently. There was no warning and no preparing for the passing of these friends. Needless to say these were much harder to deal with. When you have so long to prepare yourself for death, it doesn’t really numb you to the pain, but it does give you a warning letting you know the time is drawing nearer. Even though you can never be fully prepared for what you are about to go through in the passing of a friend or loved one, you have the time to say your “goodbyes” and “I love yous”. When you lose someone without being allowed to tell them goodbye, it seems to be more dramatic. When I lost friends before, with no warning, it seemed as though my life was shattered for a short time. It seemed that everything was turned upside down and shook up.

I’ve been in arguments with friends that caused us to fall apart. It seems as though when in this position, each person is waiting for the other to apologize and say they were wrong. I have learned that instead of keeping a wall between you and another person, just say hi. Say hi? Yes. Send an email, text, or call and just say hi. Then say I’m sorry. The words will come after that. There aren’t many things that are worth breaking up a friendship over. Just imagine losing that friend to a car accident, while you are in this feud. Never getting to say goodbye or apologizing for whatever may have happened. This actually helped me during a time that me and a buddy wasn’t talking, over something stupid. It turned out that if we would have just talked before, then we would have realized that we were upset over a misunderstanding and avoided the whole thing. I’m sorry that I didn’t.

No matter where we go or who we become, never forget who helped us get there. There’s never a wrong time to pick up a phone or send a message telling your friends how much you miss them or how much you love them. It is never too late to mend a broken friendship. If you don’t, who will? And never forget the Chinese Proverb, “Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.”

  1. What a stunning post. You are right that all it takes is hi and I’m sorry to repair things, and sometimes it is worth it even when you feel you were not in the wrong. As you say, pick your friends carefully and cherish them

  2. Mom says:

    Very well said! The Bible reminds us to “not let the sun go down upon our wrath”.

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